by Mark Magnan
I went to the dentist again. I know that is not real exciting news, however this is not the news page so exciting is not part of my week. I get to go a few times a year, so it is a regular occurrence for me. This visit was to a new clinic. I have not completely decided to give up my old dentist. (I am worried that someone from my old dental clinic will read this and wonder why I moved) However I had some work done at this new dental clinic and decided to give them a try. I had a couple of issues that this dentist was able to help me with and I was happy with the results. They also came recommended by a couple of friends. Now I have been in the dental chair quite a few times over the years for some serious work, so not a lot about a visit to the dentist really worries me. This was just a simple cleaning, well that was what I was told. Any time you visit a new clinic of any sort they want all new information. I had filled out the small booklet of paperwork on one of my previous visits, you know, personal information, blood type, allergic reactions, phobias, and the most important thing, how you intend to pay for all the charges that you may run up while in the clinic.
I was escorted back to a nice little space with a power leather chair, which I am not allowed to operate, I find that unfair. There are a lot of questions about various things and you are to let them know if there is something that causes you pain. I didn’t really have any complaints, save the power chair issue. So a bit of looking around and then it is time for the x-ray. This is common so not really unexpected. There is this, well, contraption, that is supposed to take an x-ray image of your entire mouth at one time. You fit your head inside the pieces, bite down on some little plastic do-dad. They put a lead apron over your body. Then everyone is cleared from that end of the building, they stop all the traffic on the street outside, the caring attendant hides behind a steel wall and then pushes a button to zap your head with who knows what kind of radiation. I like that they want to protect my body with the lead apron. And granted I am really attached to most of that stuff, especially my heart. However there have been successful heart transplants. Not that many brain transplants. Perhaps they could work something out with a monkey brain. I might even be up for that. I would like to know what monkey thinks, and just imagine what might come from a monkey’s thought and the ability to communicate as a human. I am not sure about all the swinging from trees and the missing tail. I am sure that Jane Goodall would be happy to have someone, so to speak, to talk to.
Well, back to the dentist, this was just for a checkup and cleaning so not anything out of the ordinary. I have had good luck with hygienists over the years, most of the time I am quite happy. I have had a couple that I was not thrilled with. And this may come across as non politically correct, however the last one that I was unhappy with was a guy, and the last few that I liked were women. Perhaps guys feel the need to be rough and work to get my teeth clean. I am just fine with the gentle touch that the women have. Now I might add that my teeth are in fairly good condition, I take care of them and clean them properly on my own, so the regular cleanings are just a formality. I don’t feel like I need someone standing on my chest and chiseling in my mouth. For the most part a cleaning is not painful and shouldn’t be. On this visit to the new clinic they have a device that they used, and this was a first for me. It was supposed to be for cleaning, however I think it was just to point out sensitive spots on your teeth, which it did with alarming accuracy. So much so that my toes curled up a few times. The combination of cold water, cold air and the ultrasonic frequency it found a couple of spots that made me wince. I would have given up my dog’s social security number had she stayed on a couple of those spots more than just a few seconds. If we wanted to get secrets from a foreign spy, this is the gadget to use. Try fingernails on a blackboard, and dental work combined, that is a recipe for uncomfortable-ness to the max. Overall it was certainly not the worst experience I have had in a dental chair, I came away with all my teeth intact and a new shiny toothbrush, so I am happy.